


Support Group

by Last_Hope_For_Humanity



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Biphobia, Chaptered, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, M/M, Support Group, what am I even doingggggg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-11 01:36:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4416086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Last_Hope_For_Humanity/pseuds/Last_Hope_For_Humanity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan's never had anyone to talk to about being bi and not for a second did he ever even mention the word bi or gay around any of his family or friends. However, when he gets the opportunity to go to an LGBTQ support group and talk about his problems; well, he had to go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Support Group

Dan looked both ways, making sure no one was around and then proceeding to put his hood up before walking into the place.

As he walked in he felt uneasy. _What if someone knows me,_ Dan thought. He immediately dismissed it though and slowly lifted his hood off his head. He fixed his fringe and made his way to where the support group was being held.

See, Dan was bi. His parents were homophobic and so were half of his friends. So, he didn't tell anyone; and you're probably wondering why any of this information is important.

Well, Dan heard a few months ago of this LGTQ support group. At first he wasn't going to go, but after months of building up the courage to go, he's here.

He couldn't deal with not telling anyone anymore. He wanted to talk about it, but there was no one to talk about it to. So, support group seemed like the best option.

Now, he's sitting uncomfortably in a plastic chair looking around at a bunch of people who he doesn’t even know.

Most were in conversation, but some were casually sitting on their phones or reading. He seemed so out of place. He wasn't even sure if he was in the right place. None of these people seemed gay, except maybe the girl with the butch haircut. He was surprised to say the least and he wasn't sure why, but he was expecting a bunch of flamboyant boys and manly looking girls. He was dead wrong.

"Okay, everyone take a seat, we're starting," some guy said, sitting down.

Dan assumed that he was the leader of the whole thing. Everyone immediately sat down and after a few seconds everyone was in their chairs.

"Okay, well, I've noticed we have a few new faces in the group, so like always, everyone introduce themselves. Your name, pronouns, why you’re here, and if you wish, you may state your sexuality," he said and then he nodded to the person to his left, signaling for them to start.

"Hello, my name is Connor, he/him pronouns, I'm gay, and I'm here because for the majority of my life I wasn't okay with it," the boy, Connor, said. The man nodded and said thank you. Dan looked at the boy and yeah, he didn't look gay. It hit him how looks and voices don't determine sexuality. It was weird. He should know this. He does know this, but for some reason it still surprises him.

Dan thinks what he should say, half listening to what the others had to say, and half freaking out. He was going to do this. _He was going to do this._

The closer it got to him, the more nervous he got. His heart was beating uncontrollably in his chest and he could feel a bead of sweat coming from his forehead. Then, it was on him, and he almost barfed.

"Hi, my name is Dan," he said, giving a small wave, more out of awkwardness than anything. He closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath. The girl with the butch hair-cut, that he can't really remember her name, gave him a soothing rub on the back and he let out a breath, muttering a thank you before continuing. " I-uh, I'm here because I-I- My parents and friends are very homophobic and even more biphobic and I'm bi and I've never told anyone that," Dan says letting out another breath, shaking. "And, uh, he/him pronouns, sorry," Dan adds and everyone claps. The girl next to him hugs him and the guy in the middle, known as Patrick, lets out a thank you, before going to the next person.

He felt really good, except now that he said it, there was no more pretending it wasn't real. It's real. _This is real._ Dan could barely contain himself, but continued to listen to the rest of the people.

One that stood out to him was Phil's. A black haired boy with piercing blue eyes and a Muse sweatshirt.. "Hey guys, I'm Phil, for any of you who don't know me. I've been in this support group since it started two years ago. I'm here because one of my dearest friends left us. She was gay and her parents didn't accept her. I'm lucky my parents weren't like that when I came out as bi. Also, I'm here for anyone who needs to talk and he/him pronouns."

After everyone was done, Patrick thanked them all for being open and then he let anyone speak. It could be about troubles or accomplishments. This lasted about a half an hour and to Dan, it was pretty interesting.

Some girl named Hannah started her own bakery this week. Connor has started dating guys for the first time and some other boy Dan can't remember the name of, hasn't cut in over 3 months.

There was more, but in Dan's mind, those were just the highlights.

He was also surprised to see that not every story was bad. Many of the people here seemed to have good lives outside the support group.

Like, Phil, for example. Near the end of support group he told the group that he was receiving straight A's in uni and has been feeling the best he has in awhile.

That made Dan smile for some reason and with that note, Patrick ended the support group. "Don't forget to come next week," he said cheerfully and Dan couldn't feel more at home. It had taken him 18 years to finally come out and he couldn't be more happy about it, yet sad. It would be another week until he could do this again and he wasn't sure if he could wait that long.

That's when he remembered Phil's words. _"I'm here for anyone who needs to talk."_

The words buzzed in his ears and suddenly he found himself walking towards Phil who was currently ending his conversation. "Yeah, see ya later" Phil said to Patrick.

Once Phil turned around, Dan was right in front of him. "Hey," Dan said shyly. _Why'd I do this again?_

"Uh, hey. What's up?" Phil asked and Dan could barely let out words. _What was I here for? Oh, yeah._ "I, ummm, you said you were here for anyone who needed to talk? I'm sorry. I'm stupid. I'll just-" "Wait," Phil said, grabbing his wrist. “It’s okay, there really is no need to feel stupid. I really am here to talk if you need it,” Phil said, letting go of his wrist. Dan nodded, “yes, please. I mean, yeah, I really need someone to talk to,” Dan said and Phil nodded, looking at his watch. “It’s only eight. Do you want  to sit in here and talk?” Phil asked. Dan thought about it for a moment. His first class didn’t start till nine tomorrow morning and he had already finished his homework, so he nodded.

“Okay, cool,” Phil said, sitting down in one of the nearby chairs and gesturing for Dan to sit as well. Phil put a hand on Dan’s shoulder and said, "It's okay, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to and you can take all the time you need.” He gives Dan’s shoulder a little squeeze before letting go and putting his hand back in his lap.

Dan nodded and let out another shaky breath before starting. “It’s just, I never had anyone to like, support me in this. Everyone I know thinks the only sexuality that exists is straight and I,” Dan pauses and thinks for a second. Phil puts his hand back on his shoulder and tells him to take his time. Dan nods and just breathes for a few seconds before continuing. “And I just can’t take it anymore. It gets to the point that I just get really angry and I want to tell them off, but i’m scared. I’m scared they’ll hate me and it’s not like I have a boyfriend, so I never saw the point of coming out.”

Phil nods and when Dan doesn’t say anything, he does. “You know, i’ve never had a boyfriend and I came out.” “Really?” Dan asks and Phil nods again. “Yeah. Like, a boyfriend shouldn’t be the reason I come out. It should be because I want to be true to myself. I mean, at first I only told a few friends and it just escalated from there, I guess. Now I tell anyone I met. Not always at first, but anyone who asks, I do. And yeah, it’s scary. AND yes, some people are going to be asses, but you have to make a choice. Either be true to yourself or lie and make yourself suffer, just so you can make people who don’t really love you, happy.”

Dan gapes and only makes out a small “wow,” because Phil was right. So right. “So, yeah. You don’t need to come out now or even in the near future, but it’s something that you’ll need to do if you want to be happy. Which may not seem true now, but it is, it really is,” Phil says and Dan nods. “Yeah, I know,” Dan says and he furrows his brows. “When did you come out, by the way?” Dan asks and Phil lets out a breath, giving a small nervous laugh. “Well, the first time was when I was 18? I think. I told ummm,” Phil lets out another breath and he looks like he’s about to cry. Dan looks at him in sorrow and he has the sudden urge to hug him, to tell him it’s alright, but he doesn’t. He let’s Phil compose himself and continue. “I told my friend, Katie. She had came out to me a year prior and literally she was perfect. She hugged me and told me not to worry about it. She killed herself 6 months later. She was my best friend and yeah. After she died, that’s when I joined the support group. It was new and I didn’t really have any friends. Afterwards I started being really open about my sexuality and I came out to my parents. That’s pretty much my story on the matter.”

Dan was speechless and he felt like he might cry. “I-,” Dan started, but he didn’t have a clue on what to say, so he hugged him.

It was nothing small either. Dan had basically lept on him and Dan was lucky when Phil hugged back. It was tight and Dan’s heart pumped loudly in his chest. It felt right, not in the romantic sense, at least not yet. It felt whole. Dan hadn’t gotten a hug in months and that was from his own mother.

It didn’t last long though. Thiry seconds tops and when Dan felt Phil let go, he almost went in again. He didn’t though. He was stronger than that and when he saw Phil with tear stained cheeks, Dan let out another tear. He hadn’t even realized that he was crying too and Phil only laughed, wiping away his own tears. “It really is fine. I just get a little emotional whenever I talk about it.” “I can see why,” Dan said, a little more bitterly than he expected, but surprisingly Phil only chuckled.

Dan didn’t know how he did it, one second he’s talking about his dead friend, crying, and now he was laughing for no reason. This boy really did puzzle him, but Dan liked him for some reason. He was radiant and insightful. His word choice and advice was famanional.

Dan really wanted to get to know this Phil character and maybe this was what he needed. A friend that he could talk about anything with and in the end, just have a good laugh.

“I’m sorry,” Phil ended up saying after a moment of silence and Dan looked at him surprisingly. “What do you mean?” Dan asked. “This was supposed to be about you and I went in and made about myself,” Phil said and Dan snorted. “It really isn’t an issue. I like listening about your err life,” Dan said and Phil smiled.

Right before Phil could get another word in, someone made a muffled noise, and Dan and Phil looked up. Patrick. “I understand that you two are having a nice conversation, but I really need to lock up, so if you could kindly take this outside,” he said and Phil nodded. “Of course, sorry Patrick.” “No biggy.”

Dan and Phil walked out of the building and once they were outside, they both stood awkwardly next to each other. “Soooooo,” Dan said and Phil chuckled. “What’s so funny?” Dan asked and Phil shook his head. “I don’t know. Sorry.” He smiled, looking over at Dan, who fumbled with the end of his jacket nervously. “ummm,” Dan said, one eye open, looking over at Phil. “Do you think I could have your number?” He asked and Phil smiled brightly at him. Dan’s heart skipped a beat. “Of course,” Phil said, taking his phone out of his pocket, and handing it to Dan moments later. “Here, put your number in.” Dan nodded and when he had to put in his name, he smirked. “Here you go,” Dan said, handing Phil back his phone and Phil chuckled. “Really?” “Really,” Dan answered and Phil chuckled. “Alright, I guess i’ll see you later, ‘hot support group guy.’”

Dan smiled and waved. He watched until Phil drove away and Dan made a little chuckle, smiling to himself. He felt giddy. Not once in his whole life has he felt like he could tell someone anything and here he was, someone he only just met, he felt like he could do just that.

Phil was kind and understanding. Most of his friends were, well, judgemental. They weren’t necessarily bad or anything. They were still nice at times and they cared about him. However, Phil seemed to care and it was only one night. He really hoped that this wasn’t just because Phil was kind in general, but that Phil wanted to be friends to. He really needed someone like this in life.

Someone he didn't have to fear judgment of and could for once, it seemed, understand him.

Dan sighed and started to walk home. It was a mile walk home and he’s not sure why he didn’t ask Phil for a ride. He could run, sure, and he’d be there in 10 minutes, but he couldn’t bring it in him to do it. So, he slowly walked home, a little frightened and yet, relaxed.

The city was pretty empty at 9 PM, Dan thought. It was quiet with the exception of the occasional car zooming by. He felt at ease, even though it was late at night and he was all alone.

Well, he was alone, until he received a text from Phil.  

_(1)New Message: Unknown Number_

_Hey, it’s Phil_

Dan smiled, sending Phil a “Hey” in return and putting his name in his contacts.

_(1)New Message: Phil_

_I know this is sudden, but by any chance you wanna hang out tomorrow?_

Dan stopped walking and stared at his phone. His heart was racing, which was weird. He had a fun time with Phil and this was a potential friend. He was allowed to get nervous, he told himself.

_To: Phil_

_Yeah, sure. I have class till four, but after that i’m free._

_(4)New Messages: Phil_

_Okay, five, my place? (I’m having other friends over too if that’s okay)_

_Well it’s not my “place,” it’s a dorm room._

_XX  XXXXXX_

_and that’s my address ^_^_

Dan laughed, Phil was such a dork.

_To: Phil_

_Nah, I don’t mind. I’ll be there_

_(1)New Message: Phil_

_Cool beans :3_

_To: Phil_

_OMG you are so weird_

_(1)New Message: Phil_

_Normalness leads to sadness_

_To: Phil_

_Tru. You know, you are really good at that advice thing._

_(1)New Message: Phil_

_I guess? I don’t know._

_To: Phil_

_Seriously you are.  You should consider being a therapist or something_

_(1)New Message: Phil_

_I’m already going to be a writer and you know, therapist’s aren’t supposed to talk about their own lives and cry in front of their patients right?_

_To: Phil_

_Yeah, I know and a writer sounds cool. You seem like you’d be really good at it_

_(1)New Message: Phil_

_I’m alright, I guess. I don’t know. I don’t have very much self confidence, but if you want to judge for yourself, I can give you a copy of one of my works tomorrow?_

_To: Phil_

_Yeah, that’d be great!_

_(1)New Message: Phil_

_Okay, well, I don’t mean to be rude, since I did text you first, but I have an exam tomorrow morning and I kinda need to study......._

_To: Phil_

_Oh, yeah! Sorry for keeping you. ;_;_

_(1)New Message: Phil_

_Lol. It’s okay, you really weren’t._

_To: Phil_

_If you say so_

_see you tomorrow_

_(1)New Message: Phil_

_Yeah, bye_

_To: Phil_

_Bye_

Dan sighed, chugging his phone across his bed. He had gotten home about thirty minutes ago and spent the entire time texting Phil or waiting for a text from Phil.

It had been one day, _one day_ , and he had already made a friend, who invited him to hang out with him and his friends.

His own friends don’t even ask him to hang out that fast, or at all really.

It felt good and he felt wanted.

 _Phil is just too friendly. It has nothing to do with you,_ he thinks.

He’s probably pitying him, but Phil doesn’t seem like he’d be like that.

Though, he did just meet him.

Dan decided that was stupid and he shouldn’t think about it.

Just go to sleep.

~

He never did get sleep. He was restless all night.

At first all he could think of was Phil and how they were going to spend the day together, but then, like a punch in the gut, he remembered what he did last night.

He came out. _He came out._

His parents were going to hate him (if they found out). Everyone was going to hate him,

He wanted to puke. He wanted to scream. Do anything to stop the unsettling feeling in his stomach.

He was aching to tell somebody, but he was also aching to take it back. Pretend he never came out.

He couldn’t do that though. It was too late and it’s not like it felt any worse than when he was in the closet. _well, **completely** in the closet._

His mind was spinning and he just wanted to stop thinking about it.

So, with a glance at the clock, 8:30, he took a shower, got ready, and went to class.

~

He didn’t really pay much attention in any of  his classes. He bounced his foot rapidly on the floor and couldn’t stop looking at the clock.

He was antsy and nervous. He couldn’t wait to see Phil later and all the thoughts about sexuality, he pushed from his mind.

_Ring_

“Okay, class is over. I expect all your papers on my desk before class tomorrow. Have a good  rest of your day,” his professor said and Dan bolted.

He was so relieved to be done with the day (except the four hours of homework, but he’ll do that later).

He rushed to his car and quickly went home, changed, fixed his hair, and got back in his car.

4:15

It was a little early to go and meet Phil, so Dan settled with going on his phone until it was time to go.

He played a little bit of crossy road, went on tumblr, and then, decided to go on facebook.

He hadn’t been on in awhile and what could the harm be?

Well, what Dan wasn’t expecting was the notification that his little brother Aiden was in a relationship with a boy.

He could hardly breathe and when he saw the 2 likes and 74 comments, well, he was terrified.

He hesitantly clicked on the comments to see a bunch of hateful comments.

_Is this really how I find out that my son is gay, this is disturbing. I hope you know you’re not allowed to come back home until you grow out of this phase._

_You are disgrace to the family_

_Did your parents teach you anything? One man, one women? Ring any bells?_

_Don’t come here for christmas ever again, you faggot._

_Why can’t you be more like Dan? He’s becoming a lawyer and he’s straight. At least the whole family isn’t dysfunctional._

_I’m sorry your family is so harsh on you, Aiden. I’m here for you if you need it <3_

Dan couldn’t stop the tears that fell when he read over what nasty things they had said to his own brother.

74 comments and only one of them was nice.

He never even told Dan, but he never came out to Aiden either. No wonder he was so afraid.

Dan didn’t even know what to do.

Should he make a comment back and tell everyone to fuck off?

Or should he just text Aiden, tell him he’s sorry?

He didn’t want Aiden to feel like he was pitying him and more than anything, he wanted to defend him, but he couldn’t.

Dan was weak and he couldn’t risk anyone knowing he was anything but straight.

_To. Aiden_

_I’m sorry what happened to you over facebook. I’m here for you and I support you. Love you bro <33_

Dan sighed, pushing send, and looking at the clock. 4:30.

He could leave now if he wanted to, but Dan wasn’t sure he wanted to go anymore.

Phil knew his secret and befriending him could be a risk.

Going to the support group in general was a bad idea.

_Supress. Supress. Supress._

He doesn’t need to be open to his feelings and he sure as hell doesn’t need a toxic friendship like Phil’s to ruin his life.

However, what was the real harm?

Dan could be friends with whomever he wanted to, right?

Right.

Dan really wasn’t so sure anymore, but decided to head over to Phil’s anyways and not think about it.

~

Dan was currently outside of Phil’s dorm room fiddling with his shirt. He could still walk away, He hasn’t even knocked yet.

Dan’s heart started to beat rapidly in his chest and with a push, he decided to knock on the door.

“Oh, hey, Dan you made it, come on in!”

_Run. You can still leave. He’s only going to make things worse for you._

Dan only smiled and pushed the thoughts out of his mind.

It was fine. He was fine.

He looked around the room and sure enough, there was other people there.

Some very familiar people.

Fuck.

These were people from support group.

“Oh, hi, Dan. I didn’t know you’d be here!” The girl he remembers as ‘the girl with the butch hair cut,’  said and she came up and gave him a hug.

When he looked around the second time, he looked to see if he could see anyone he didn’t remember at support group, and no, they were all the same people as yesterday.

Phil wasn’t his friend. He was only inviting him, because he invited everyone.

“Hey, so I’m going to go and talk to Patrick. If you want, drinks are in the fridge and Rachel (that must be the girl with the butch hair cut) seems like she’d like to talk to you,” Phil said, patting his shoulder and walking away.

Dan felt like he’d been punched in the gut. He thought that finally someone understood him, that he was going to make a friend that wouldn’t judge him. A friend who would actually care for him.

He guesses, that was just too much to ask, Nobody likes the real Dan, no one ever has.

So, Dan ran out. He started to ball as he ran outside the building to his car. Once he was safely inside, he wiped away his tears and steadied his breathing.

_Just pretend. You’re a straight boy who is going to be very successful and have a beautiful wife. People like Phil would only ruin you. Besides, you still like girls, forget the other half. Forget you hate law. How else are you going to be successful? Just pretend. Be the perfect little boy your parents want you to be._

_You know what they did to Aiden._

Dan finally settled down and with a deep breath, he put his car in drive.

He was never going to be himself ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> I read over it and I cringed soooo hard, but decided to post it anyways, because why not? I really want to write chaptered stuff and get better at my writing, so might as well try even if it's bad.
> 
> Anyways, hope you for some reason enjoyed it, and expect an update in the near future. 
> 
> (Also, I wanna apologize about using american terminology rather than British terminology. I'm from America and this is a fanfic and it's for fun. I'm sorry, but I am wayyyyyy to lazy to actually look that stuff up.)


End file.
